Since posting ‘The Struggle (with Writing) is Real’, it’s admittedly been somewhat difficult for me to sit down and write for this blog. It was good last week for me to post the photos from Valencia. I’d been meaning to do that for a while, and it also gave me some time to consider my next written post because, to be frank, I haven’t been quite so keen on blog writing in the past week and a half.
I was going strong, writing and desiring to write, for a few months in a row. Why did my motivation to write here decrease to the extent it did in such a short time?
I think, at least in part, that the ideas I discussed in ‘The Struggle’ seeped into my habits, as it were. The pessimism about my writing ability that I discussed in that piece became self-realized, if that makes sense. This isn’t some reverse version of ‘The Secret’ or anything like that. It’s not as if my speaking pessimism into the universe caused it to be. Rather, because I believed what I wrote about my inability to express myself to the extent I would like, I discouraged myself.
The irony of that post is that I think I did a decent job of expressing my frustrations with my inability to express myself. However, in doing so, I produced what is probably my least favorite piece up to this point. I was mostly able to say what I wanted to say in an articulate manner, but the end result was flawed. I can see that my writing itself is improving, but I feel like I sounded whiny and unappreciative in that piece.
I also strayed from my usual goal of using my experience to inform others. Instead of giving an account of something that happened and what I learned from it, I wrote something that was completely self-serving. I did admit as much in the post, stating that the call to action was basically for myself. However, this leads me to ask the question, “Was it worth posting?”
Ultimately, I have to answer ‘Yes’ because I stuck to one of the stated goals of ‘Pilgrim Shelter’: being honest. In fact, it was maybe even a little too honest. Without delving too far into my personal life, the week of that writing, I had a personal thing happen (which is as much detail as I’ll give in this public setting). It put me in a mildly melancholic state of mind, and that mindset snuck its way into the post in the form of a pessimistic tone.
This is one of the downfalls of having such a personal blog. When things are going well, the blog itself can reflect it. When things take a negative turn, which is inevitably going to happen in this life, the blog may reflect that. This might not make for the best reading if you’re looking for something positive and uplifting, but it is true to life.
I’ll say with a good degree of certainty that this recent trouble won’t have a long-term impact on this site. I still have more stories and ideas about which I could write. Moreover, even if it is yet undetermined, there is still more traveling in store for me at some point in the future, Lord willing. That should do a lot to give me further inspiration for what I say here.
I can’t promise that everything I say here will always be positive and uplifting. It will, however, continue to be honest.
This will serve as a companion piece to another post, ‘Faith and Hardship’. I wrote them initially as one piece, but it was far too disjointed and didn’t flow. There is some overlap between them, so I’m publishing them as complementary sister posts rather than as one.
A pilgrimage is an intensely personal journey, but it is not one that a pilgrim undertakes alone. I don’t want to ‘talk’ into a vacuum. I want to hear other voices, too. What I’m trying to say is, I want feedback! Have I spoken something to you? Is there something you think I should know? Do you have a question about something I said? Please leave a comment below or contact me at Pilgrim.Brett@gmail.com
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