When I started my Camino, I imagined that I would write and publish a live journal of sorts. I didn’t expect to do it every day, but I figured I’d write on a regular basis.
Once I started, however, I knew that the time spent thinking about each post, writing and editing it, would detract far too much from my living in the moment. Rather than making new memories about which to write, I would instead be recounting past experiences. This would remove me too much from the present. Sure, it may have been beneficial to look back in the moment over events that are still relatively fresh in my mind, but I reasoned that the cost with regard to time and new experiences far outweighed the benefits.
This is not to say anything negative about the others who live blog their own Caminos. We each have to walk our own Camino, and for some, that means giving those frequent updates. To each their own.
Personally, writing regularly is a huge part of my Camino. I’ve been writing every day. In fact, I’ve written more on this Camino than I ever have before. However, it’s only in my journal. It’s merely for my own benefit right now. If and when I write about this journey, much of what I post will come directly from my journal. Right now, though, it’s still too personal, too raw. It’s not yet ready for public consumption. I’m not even sure I’m ready to read it myself yet. There is still more to do while I’m still here on the Camino. The time to reflect and to consider my journey will come, but it is not that time yet.
Further, I have to admit that this Camino has been more of a spiritual experience than I anticipated. That is, it’s been admittedly more spiritually challenging than I thought it would be. This is due in large part to my lack of certainty about what would come (which I detailed here). Still, the things I’ve seen and experienced, the ideas I’ve had, and the people I’ve met have all combined to make this entire event…different. To try to say more than that would be to attempt to explain something I don’t yet entirely understand myself. I don’t want to take this further than is warranted, but I’ll go as far to say that sharing these moments with the world could even be detrimental to the growth I’m undergoing. This wouldn’t necessarily be the outcome, but that’s not a risk I’m willing to take at this point.
To be sure, I didn’t mean to have such a long period of time pass without any sort of update. Yes, I’m alive. Yes, I’m doing well. Yes, I’m growing and learning all the time, likely in ways I don’t yet know. It’s a process, and it’s ongoing.
A pilgrimage is an intensely personal journey, but it is not one that a pilgrim undertakes alone. I don’t want to ‘talk’ into a vacuum. I want to hear other voices, too. What I’m trying to say is, I want feedback! Have I spoken something to you? Is there something you think I should know? Do you have a question about something I said? Please leave a comment below or contact me at Pilgrim.Brett@gmail.com.
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